[Skeith]

Well, fuck me sideways with a pogo stick, that's one hell of a country you've got down there.

I've been all over the globe and never hit a more pleasant, welcoming, friendly and beautiful land in all my days.

I ate the best food I've ever tasted, served by some seriously slick waitresses, laughed my arse off with an astonishingly well read barman, got rescued from a threatening meths-head by a visitor from Joburg who smiled at my street crime panic and said that wasn't crime like he knew it.

I watched two world records get concurrently broken in arguably the greatest one day international cricket game of all time and then flicked over the channel to ogle the Bulls Cheerleaders who worship the sacred pigs bladder with gusto. Yes my friends - Rugby has cheerleaders in South Africa and by god they get the blood coursing through your veins.

I drank wine until it ran out of my ears, I smoked bin bags of weed and I ate cray fish the size of canoes - all for less then the cost of a round of cocktails in a London nightclub.

I watched seals play in the surf and sat amazed at the sight of Great White Sharks leaping out of the water. They call it aerial jaws; I say it's the eighth wonder of the natural world. Oi Spielberg, come here, these fuckers will eat your heart out.

I was devoured by bed-bugs at the backpackers and looked like a leper on Robben Island. I got lucky and it was embarassing have to display my lumpy swollen, blotched body to that sweet 18 year old gap year student who was going to be a Doctor. One thing led to another and what do you know? Hey Nabokov, eat your heart out, I'm on holiday.

I heard a story that made a whole lot of sense. Up in Zims, there's a madman running the country. I've been looking at Mugabe for over a year now and saying to myself, "That man is absolutely mad; seriously, truly and utterly, clinically insane." What I hear is this, that Big Bob has been dipping his Little Bob in a dose of syphyllis. Now being the family kind of guy that Bob is he doesn't get it treated and what you are now seeing is what is the final tertiary stages of an STD that causes insanity.

Ahem. Allegedly.

Anyway, I digress. Back to the Safety Zone of The Western Cape.

What I really wanted to say was this, you people really have the most wonderful country, filled with some of the warmest individuals in some incredible vistas. I've literally clapped at the endeavour of Chapman's Peak. And that dude Lowrie, man that's a pass the size of King Kong's ass crack.

I met embarrassed Americans who had fled their homeland and mellow Germans mingled with a troop of Israeli travellers. All agreed on one thing.

That South Africa is amazing.

So I came to a decision whilst perched on a boulder watching the sun set at Clifton Three, and that decision was this:

Fuck London.

I love it here.

The people are nice, polite and intelligent.

The sun shines on the beach three hundred days a year.

The women are blisteringly hot and the good looking guys are probably gay.

They have the world cup in four years.

SWOT Analysis done, I tell my parents, this is my intention.

That I have decided to flee London, to pursue my career in Cape Town.

And here's a beautiful thing.

They agree with me.

For once in my dumb life, I have had a good idea. I think.

So why the fuck am I telling you all of this?

I dunno, it's kind of a big decision I guess, to move countries, permanently and I felt the need to get it off my chest. Actually it feels good to say it. It's exciting.

I have set myself this challenge: to give myself six to nine months to get my shit together. Six months ideally to save up and shift my shit to Cape Town CBD.

Look! I'm not proud!! That is what I intend to cry as I pour the coke bottle of change into the note machine down at Sainsbury's however any advice, leads, opportunities, openings and possibilities in the film and television world would be gratefully received, for that is my trade.

Speaking of which, I have work tomorrow and it's hellishly late, but let's open up the board with, would you rather eat your partner, or biltong?

Go Broo!

[arrie5]

SKEITH

I'm feel really glad for you buddy. you experienced my Home town and loved so how can people slag SA off without ever staying there and experiencing the CAPE life. Laid Back chilled out and loving life.

Good for you. Hope you have a great time in Cape Town and make the best of it.

CAPETONIAN

[Lisa]

I must say you have one long message there but im very proud of you even though i havent met you. Your message inspired me. We do have a wonderful country and i think its a brilliant idea that you head out here forget about the dodgy weather in the UK and everything else - YOU WILL LOVE IT HERE!! Good luck with everything and if you need help about anything just mail gumtree JHB and you will see how many people reply...

Have a blast...

[Kirst]

Reading your posting whilst sitting at work in a bank in London and you definitely made me chuckle - found myself nodding my head in agreement whilst trying to stifle my laughter! Glad you love it so much, really awesome to hear a foreigner being so positive about home! Enjoy living it up in CT!

[malc]

Nice post.

Make sure you don't burn your bald patch with your hat off like that.

[Crying]

Good luck!

[slave2her]

Hey - I am sure you are going to have an amazing experience! Film industry side of things - I do know that a large film studio has recently opened in the Milnerton/Table View area.......it is opposite the Caltex refinery...sorry that is all I know about it but maybe you could find out some more info about it before you leave.

Good Luck
Always
M

[Guest]

Hey. I just wanted to say that when I read how passionate you feel about SA I almost cried. Being in the UK has made me realise how lucky I am and how much I love that place. I cant wait til I get back there at theend of the year! [/b]

[truth]

aawwh man, reading that has made me miss my beautiful country for the first time in almost 2 yrs!!!

moving back seems like a great idea after all

all the best mate!

[vixen]

I am a saffa.....from cape town ....been slagging off my country since i got here, been trying to find all sorts of ways of staying. Reading your message makes me feel so guilty .....South Africa is really the best place in the world. You should do really well in the film industry its young and growing at really fast speed at the moment specially in Cape Town....so much money to be made. Look in the local papers the Argus, Times you will soon get in there. Best of luck and Thank you

[Nayab]

Dammit man. I am going to ignore all the horror stories of crime. Time for me to visit and make my own mind up. That post was amazing.

[Guest]

thanks!!!

[lol]

I was teary reading you message. What an absolutely great story. I realise more and more everyday how great SA is and how I am DEFINITELY going HOME this year!! Hope your message inspires more of us to go home.
Enjoy it!!

[cakesy]

but how do you get past their annoying accents? I didn't think their could be anything more annoying that a new zealand accent - heh, I am sure that the oz accents must be just as annoying to a number of people.

And to be harsh but fair, it sounds like the first time you have ever left the UK - welcome to the rest of the world.

[nakki]

well I am a saffa myself, born and bred and very proud to be one!!! been in london 5 years now and going back to SA for good in November woooooooooooo hooooooooooooooo!!!! SA RULES so thank you for your nice e-mail and it is all true what you said and as far as the other posting goes on accents!!! our accents is fairly neutral without a whine, twang or pretentious shit so people an places make a country not accents and as far for first time travelling I think SA is so diverse and beautifull you dont need many other places, maby amazon and vietnam to see but to work and stay GO SA!!

[Bluecrane]

Dit klink bleddie fantasties!!! I cannot believe that Im actually staying in this paradise until Ive heard it all from a foreighner!

I was bord in CITRUSDAL (DIS ;N BAKGAT PLEK!) a small nice Afrikaans town in the Western Cape countryside - ever wonderd where Rooibos Tea comes from? FROM CITRUSDAL AND CLANWILLIAM at the foot of the lovely Cerdarberg Mountains.

To cut a long story short - matriculated at Citrusdal High ACTUALLY it was Hoerskool Citrusdal but ok. And then stayed at my family's holiday home in Bloubergstrand eversince until the beginning of this year.

In Jan I moved to Alberton in JHB and Im still suffering of withdraw simptoms I MISS the mountain so much and these DONERSE Gautengers cant drive!!!

So for me still staying in the RSA and hearing about a Pommie talking about the Mothercity like that and all it has to offer I sommer pack my bags and hit the N1 south!

VIR JOU SUID-AFRIKA!

To all the SAFFAS IN UK KEEP STRONG THE COUNTRY IS STILL HERE AND STRONG AND WILL BE WAITING YOUR GRACIOUS RETURN!

Cheers you all! Groete!